A System for Building Grit

Most people avoid discomfort.

Most people don’t have grit.

Most people are not mentally tough.

But you are not “most people.”

If you are reading this, it is because you are interested in levelling up your life, leadership, and performance.

Want to develop your skills? Want to accomplish more? You can do it… but It could be a slog.

Grit is a trait that will help you take risks, push through discomfort, and become a more qualified human.

In this article I am going to teach you a 3-step system to strengthen your mental toughness… your grit.

Building your grit will increase your resilience, enable personal growth, and accelerate you toward your goals.

Let’s get cracking…

Why Grit?

Grit is what keeps you going when the going gets tough.

And things always get difficult. Taking on any worthy effort will inevitably lead to challenge.

But personal growth does not occur within your comfort zone. To level up our skills and lives we must step outside what is comfortable and create an expanded zone of mastery.

What, exactly, is grit? Is the combination of passion, perseverance, and resilience. It is the quality you have to keep going when things get tough.

If you lack grit, or want to build mental toughness like iron, here is a 3-part system you can use:

1. Create clarity
2. Tell stories
3. Find support

Let’s look at each piece in this system.

Creating Clarity

The first step in developing grit is in creating clarity.

Clarity is the foundation of goal setting. If you set goals without clarity, it’s like building a skyscraper on sand.

Here are some questions to ask when creating clarity:

• Who am I becoming?
• Who do I want to be?
• What am I willing to struggle for?
• Why am I going that direction?
• Who is coming with me?

Goals are targets and they are great carrots to strive toward. But before you establish what you want, figure out who you want to become.

Do you want to be someone who gives up easily, or do you want to have an iron mind? (I know… this is a bit of a false dichotomy, but stay with me here)

Are you the person who follows through? Or do you stop when you hit a single roadblock?

When you decide who you are and who you want to become, it allows you to create goals aligned with your self-image.

If you set a goal to lose weight, you may or may not hit that goal.

If you create clarity about YOU and choose to become a person who is active, you are much more likely to reach that weight loss goal.

Clarity precedes goal setting.

After creating clarity, set goals.

I don’t want to talk about goal setting… there are plenty of articles out there on that. But just to put a cap on it, by setting goals, you create a roadmap for your journey, giving you a sense of direction and focus.

This biggest thing you need to choose is who do you want to become?

Get detailed here….

What do you want your body to look like?

What kind of spouse, parent, or friend do you want to be?

How smart do you want to be?

What skills do you want to know?

After creating this clarity - set your intentions and remind yourself of your self-image.

Make time to exercise. Then every time you go on a walk, drink a glass of water, or exercise, tell yourself, “Yup… I am doing this because I am a healthy person.”

Before you spend time with your spouse or kids, set the intention to be present. Then when you are present, remind yourself, “Yup, I am a present parent and enjoy spending quality time with my kids.”

OK, but why is all this clarity important? Because when things get tough, you will tell yourself stories.

Telling Stories

Positive self-talk is a crucial aspect of developing grit.

The way you speak to yourself can significantly impact your mindset and confidence.

Replace self-doubt and negative thoughts with affirming and encouraging words.

This is easier said than done. Your brain is trying hard to keep you safe. When you run into a struggle, your brain detects a threat to your survival and it will prime you to fight or flee.

The “flee” voice is the negative self-talk that wants you to escape.

The “fight” voice is the inner advocate who tells you to step up to the plate.

Not only can you choose which one to listen to, you can hijack the self-talk in your mind and replace it with positive affirmations.

Remind yourself of your strengths, past accomplishments, and the reasons why you embarked on this journey.

Remind yourself of who you are becoming and how this effort, this work, is going to get you there.

Remind yourself of who you DON’T want to be and why you are striving for more.

Your self-talk will determine how you show up, the effort you give, the focus you bring, the mind resources you use, and more.

Self-talk will ruin you or raise you up.

When I am crushing a workout or working hard on developing a new leadership workshop, challenges arise and inner critic starts to whisper, “Hey man, you should quit. It’s ok, I understand.”

NO.

Here are 3 of my favorite one-liner statements I play on repeat when there is a challenge in front of me:

“Good…. Get some!” From Jocko Willink

“Just do one more… and another.” From Ed Mylett

“Stay hard, muthu fu****!” From David Goggins

Choose your self-talk.

Make it positive.

Make it empowering.

Then, you need to find other people to strive with.

Finding Support

The company you keep plays a significant role in your personal development.

Surround yourself with a positive and supportive social group that believes in your potential and encourages your goals.

Seek out mentors, friends, or colleagues who demonstrate grit themselves and inspire you to persevere.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Who in my social group pushes me to be better?
• Who do I admire?
• Who can I learn from?
• Who will give me honest feedback if I am slacking?

What are you doing to maintain relationships with these people?

How are you adding value to their lives?

Make a list of the 5 people you want to spend more time with, then create a plan to connect more and nurture those relationships.

A positive social group can provide valuable feedback, accountability, and emotional support during challenging times.

Share your goals and progress with them, and be receptive to constructive criticism and encouragement. Together, you can celebrate successes and navigate setbacks, fostering a sense of camaraderie and shared growth.

We are herd animals and we tend to conform with our social group.

Hang out with toxic people and you will be toxic too.

Hang out with high achievers and you will push yourself to be better.

The Wrap Up

Developing grit is a transformative journey that requires a systematic approach.

By following the 3-step system of creating clarity, practicing positive self-talk, and surrounding yourself with a positive social group, you can build resilience, passion, and perseverance to achieve your objectives.

Remember that grit is not an overnight achievement; it is a lifelong commitment to personal growth and continuous improvement.

Cultivate patience and maintain your focus on the process rather than solely on the end result.

By developing grit, you will unlock your full potential, overcome challenges, and create a life of purpose, passion, and fulfillment.

I hope you crush it, and am rooting for you.

If you want to learn more about grit, check out the book by Angela Duckworth!

Thanks for reading!

Clark