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How to Make Changes That Last

Nov 25, 2023

Most people can’t stick with a new diet for more than a couple months.

Most people can’t make a new fitness routine last.

Most people struggle breaking bad habits.

Most people…

Who am I kidding…

Change is hard for everyone.

It is not habit stacking, or tiny habits, or major life overhauls that are the answer.

At the end of the day, there is one thing that dictates whether a change will last:

Our identity.

Our self-image.

In this article I am going to teach you about self-image, why it is so powerful, and how we can change it.

Armed with this info, you will be better prepared to make lasting changes in your life.

What is Self-Image?

Quite simply, self-image is how you see yourself.

Are you an optimist or pessimist?

Are you good at math?

Are you healthy?

All of the answers are part of your self-image.

While there may be objective answers to each of the above questions, we care about the subjective response you give.

The idea of “self-image” was first described in depth by Maxwell Maltz in his 1960 book Psycho-Cybernetics.

Maltz was a plastic surgeon.

He was fascinated by a repeated experience. He would be consulting a patient who just had a rhinoplasty. The patient would act disappointed with the results. He would ask why they were unhappy… I mean, he just gave them a new nose.

They would respond, “Yeah, but I am still ugly.”

Mic drop.

It was not the objective result that mattered. It was their subjective perception.

Maltz dug deep into psychology, and later proposed that self-image was the cornerstone of our behavior.

We literally cannot behave in any way that misaligns with our self-image.

If we see ourselves as healthy, we act accordingly.

If we believe ourselves to be bad at math, we act accordingly.

If we believe ourselves to be at risk for illness, we get sick more often.

Self-image dictates behavior.

Knowing this, if we strive to make a habit change, but do NOT make a corresponding change to our self-image, the behaviors will not stick.

Luckily, there are actions we can take to change our self-image.

Act As If

Fake it till you make it.

Try on a different hat.

Pretend.

All of these statements provide the same advice.

Whether striving to become a better person or updating our skills or behaviors, personal change requires behavior change.

But what do we do if we don’t feel comfortable with the new behaviors?

Act.

Act as if you are already that person.

A great practical example is someone who was recently promoted at work.

If you have ever been promoted you may feel like an imposter at first.

You have been lifted to new responsibility and new challenge.

If you keep your old mindset, you will continue to perform at that old level.

If you act as if you are supposed to be at that higher level, you will start to think and act at that new level.

By “acting as if” you already belong there, you create small actions and experiences that confirm your new self-image.

Another example of where this works: public speaking.

So many people are afraid of public speaking. Or they just have the self-image of “I am not good at speaking in front of others.”

I have felt this as well.

You know what helped fix it?… acting as if.

Before a speech or presentation, I put on an imaginary mask of a great presenter. I played pretend.

And I showed up different.

This led to better presentations delivered with more confidence. And a new self-image started to be created.

Act as if.

It works.

Reflect

Another way to create a new self-image is to identify times in your past when you acted in alignment with that desired self-image.

For example, you may think you are bad at math, but want to be more business-math-savvy.

Consider times when you did something mathematical that confirms you are, in fact, good at math.

Maybe you counted back change correctly. Maybe you quickly came up with an answer to a problem.

I am sure you can find evidence of your desired self-image.

Health is another one.

Most everyone strives to be healthier.

But many people don’t see themselves as healthy. Health is something they DO and not something they ARE.

But this is a subjective assessment.

If you think you are unhealthy, consider things you do now for your health.

Maybe you prioritize sleep.

Maybe you eat a piece of fruit every day.

Maybe you brush your teeth (yes this is for health).

If there are already things you do for your health, then maybe you are already a healthy person.

Can you identify behaviors that are already part of who you want to become?

Visualize

Visualization is magic. And it works.

If you cannot practice behaviors in the real world, practice them in your mind.

What is the behavior you want to do?

What is the outcome you want to see?

What is the impact you want to have?

Play it out in your mind.

Create every detail.

Going back to the health example, consider going out to a restaurant and making a healthier meal choice.

Play this out in your mind.

What restaurant is it? What is the ambience like? How many people are there? Who are you with? What does the waiter look like? What will you order? What will you tell yourself.

Get in these mental reps.

In certain scenarios, mental reps have been shown to be as effective as physical reps.

Self-image is one of those scenarios.

When we visualize, our brain uses the same pathways as if we were actually experiencing the situation.

It is like getting “real” reps in.

I could go on and on about the power of visualization. For now, try visualizing yourself winning at certain behaviors.

Create that self-image in your mind.

And execute.

The Wrap Up

Our self-image is powerful.

It dictates how we behave.

But it is not something that we are subject to without influence.

We can change our self-image. We can change our identity.

We have the power to create ourselves.

To do so:

  • Act as if
  • Reflect
  • Visualize

Make your changes last!

And keep crushing it!

Clark