How to Push Past Fear
Jan 20, 2024
I HATE feeling afraid.
Fear is one of those necessary emotions that has overreactive effects.
Fear keeps us safe. To a fault.
It stops us from doing the things we know we should do.
And you know it. I know it too.
So how do we push past it?
What steps can we take to master this emotion?
Well, let’s start by getting pumped and reciting the litany against fear.
This was written by Frank Herbert in his epic story, Dune:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
SAVAGE! Now LET’S GO!
What is Fear?
Fear is an emotional state.
It results in a physical state.
When we perceive a threat, our brains initiate a fight or flight response. When it comes to fear, we usually flee, or freeze.
You know that sensation you get in your stomach after feeling fear? That is epinephrine spilling over from your kidneys into your bloodstream.
Epinephrine = Adrenaline.
Adrenaline gets us all primed and ready for action.
Sometimes there is a big adrenaline response, and sometimes a small one.
But here’s the thing…
This response happens when we perceive a threat.
PERCEIVE.
It does not have to be a “real” threat.
I mean, is speaking in front of a group really going to hurt you? No, but we make up a story about being judged and ostracized.
The first step to navigating and overcoming fear is to become aware our perceptions.
Step 1: Identify your Fear Story
Some fears are real.
ALL involve a story.
The first step to push past fear is to identify the story.
What story are you telling when you feel a fear?
Afraid to talk to someone?
Afraid to take that risk?
Take a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- What am I afraid of?
Name it. Be as blunt and clear as possible. Say, “I feel fear about talking to my boss.” Not, “I am afraid….” but, “I feel fear.”
You are not afraid… you are feeling fear, so let’s own it that way.
2. What story am I telling myself?
Sit in the fear and play out the scenario in your mind. There are assumptions or “what-ifs” that are present. What are they?
For example, if you feel fear around public speaking, maybe you believe you will be terrible, or that you will choke, or that people will judge you.
Identify the story!
Once you identify the fear story, you can listen for the other story.
Step 2: Identify the Other Story
Yes, there are two stories.
The story above is the fear story.
The story below is the faith story.
There is another voice in your head telling you why you should take action, why you should get up on stage, why you should talk to that person.
This voice wants you to be brave, believes in the possibility for you.
Sometimes our fear voice can completely drown out the faith voice.
But it is there.
Rooting for you.
Believing in you.
Can you hear it?
If not, search for it. It is there, even if it is quiet. Sometimes it comes as a gut feeling, sometimes it shows up as an “I should…”
The faith story is one that believes in you.
When you hear that voice, acknowledge it as a separate voice and story apart from your fear voice.
Then we can move to step 3.
Step 3: Remember your Ideal Self
You have identified your fear story and your faith story. These are like the devil and angel on your shoulders, each telling you different things.
But remember… YOU are in the middle of these two voices.
You choose to listen to one or the other.
When the stories are present, take a moment and think about who you want to become.
What path are you walking, and what decisions do you need to make to walk down the ideal path?
Every step, every choice, every action takes you one step further down a path.
You get to choose that path.
Sometimes, we can quickly acknowledge that we want to avoid that path, so we quickly take action in the face of fear.
Taking quick action is a great thing to practice… get moving before the stories set in.
But sometimes we need more motivation.
We can use our powers of storytelling to create a more painful alternative. With a painful alternative, we have 2 competing pains - the pain of risk (the fear) or the pain of inaction (the lack of change).
For example:
Imagine what your life would turn into if you never took risks, if you never did the things you said you would do. What would you look like when you are 80 years old? What will you sound like, and feel like? What will you regret?
Imagine this version of you as the worst possible outcome that is a logical result of your lack of action.
Can you feel it?
Do you want to be that person?
Steep in this pain for a moment. Identify it and let it wash over you.
Make this pain bigger than the fear you are avoiding, and you will take action.
You must!
The Wrap Up
Fear is a story.
Fear surely can be real, but all fears involve a story.
Identify your fear story. Name it and get clarity.
Then identify your faith story. What would happen if you faced your fear?
To push past fear, you can take quick action before the fear story sets in.
Another option is to envision a weaker unsatisfied version of your future self. This version of you never faced their fear and never took action. If you can conjure the version of this person and feel what that person feels like, you can create enough pain to spurn yourself to action.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Face it.
And go crush it.
Clark
If you need help leveling up your performance, here is how I can help:
- Keep reading these articles and implement what you learn.
- Want to live with more energy, focus, impact, and purpose? Book a free power session and I’ll help you chart a plan to becoming the most powerful version of yourself: https://calendly.com/clarkmasterson/45-minute-power-session