Leverage Emotions to Achieve More
Nov 18, 2023We all know that person.
The one who steeps and revels in emotion.
They need it, thrive on it, drown in it.
We may call them energy vampires.
They are the ones who complain and seek validation.
But they take no action.
And so they remain stagnant. Immovable. Unchanging.
We also know that other person. The one who can seem do to it all.
They feel things too: fear, stress, regret.
But they can take action despite how they feel… IN spite of how they feel.
One complains and the other takes action.
One stays stuck and the other crushes it.
Why do some stay stuck in in their feelings, but others can work their way out of them?
If you are someone who feels things strongly, and can be emotionally reactive, I feel you.
This article is for you. Because I have been where you are at. Shoot, I probably still am.
Emotions can help us achieve more.
They can also stop us in our tracks.
Let’s state the fact: If we want to achieve more, and maintain high performance, we cannot let negative emotions halt our progress.
But given we are human, and negative emotions come with life, what can we do to keep moving forward?
In this article I am going to teach you how we can use our emotional capacity to achieve more.
Personally, I used to think emotions were just a distraction from logical action.
Even worse, I thought they were something to avoid.
As I have learned more about human performance, and worked with dozens of high performers, I have a new view of emotions and how we can leverage them to become our best selves.
What are emotions even for?
Emotions move us to action.
Imagine our existence before language. How could we communicate? How could we react to positive or negative stimuli?
Emotions.
Feelings move us. They move us to take action.
Sometimes we move to protect. Sometimes we connect. We might be moved to fight or flee. We may be motivated to pursue something.
We can feel the need to take action before our rational mind can put words to our perceptions.
We are emotional beings first, then rational ones.
It is our rational brains that make us so different from other animals on the planet.
But our emotional brains are the first reactors.
Jonathan Haidt, in The Righteous Mind, describes the emotional brain as an elephant.
And our rational brain is a little rider that sits atop the elephant.
How can the little rider guide the elephant?
We will talk about that later.
But the point is that emotions are powerful.
We have a whole system in the brain, the limbic system, where emotions are generated and processed.
Another fun fact: Emotions also help anchor memories.
Thing of a strong memory you have. Actually, think of ANY memory you have from years past.
Then think of the feeling you had during that memory.
I bet you can share what you were feeling.
And… the stronger the emotion the stronger the memory.
So, emotions move us to action and anchor memories. These are two superpowers for achieving more.
When looking at how emotions move us to action, we can look at this from two viewpoints.
Emotions protect us
Well, emotions try to protect us.
We feel fear, so we freeze, fight, or run away.
When we feel fear, anger, frustration, resentment, etc. it is because our minds perceive a threat.
All negative emotions come down to self-protection.
Fear is protective. Things we fear might be dangerous and could kill us.
Anger is protective. When we are angry, it is because an expectation is not met. And if an expectation is not met, then we are having trouble controlling our environment. And we all know our environment can kill us.
We are jealous, because we want our chance of survival to be higher than someone else's.
I could go on.
There are two things we need to recognize:
First, we must recognize all of these feelings are due to perception.
We may perceive something to be dangerous, when in fact it’s harmless.
Children do this with darkness and shadows.
Fear is a predominant emotion to consider here.
Fear stops us from taking action, so it’s an impactful emotion.
But fear is a story. Unless you are in real physical danger, our fear of the future, or fear of the unknown us mostly just a story we tell ourselves.
That’s it.
We can tell ourselves a different story.
Second, negative emotions (stress, anxiety, etc) are meant to move us to action.
I say again, TAKE ACTION. Aside from the freeze response, all emotions are meant to help us DO something.
We are not meant to wallow is anxiety.
The only way to deal with stress, anxiety, or some other negative emotion, is to take action.
High achievers recognize this.
They have a strong bias for action.
They feel fear and move forward.
We can feel fear and get crushed.
Or we can feel fear, recognize it for what it is, and take action.
Fear does not have to stop us.
The next time you feel fear, recognize you are just out of your comfort zone.
That’s all.
Is that where you want to stay?
Emotions fuel us
We spoke of negative feelings above. But positive emotions also motivate us to take action.
Think about a time when you were in the zone.
You were focused, purposeful, energetic.
The state of flow is fueled by arousal and challenge. And there is a reward in being so productive… positive emotions!
For years, positive psychologists have been researching how a positive mindset impacts performance.
There are mountains of data showing how a positive mind works better than a negative or neutral mind.
Positive emotions not only move us to do more, but they can actually enable us to do better, as well.
This is because our brains are always looking for dangers and opportunities.
This is where we can build a positive behavior loop.
For example:
We feel hope that we can get into better shape.
Therefore, we start to exercise.
We feel better after a workout, reinforcing the positive feelings.
Because we feel better, we tend to make better eating choices.
This also makes us feel better, which makes us want to exercise more.
And so it continues.
Maintaining a positive mindset helps us recognize opportunities and take action toward meeting those opportunities.
Leveraging emotions for action
So how can we use our emotions to help us achieve more?
Let’s first remember that negative emotions are better motivators than positive ones. We are much more likely to take action to avoid pain rather than seek pleasure.
Positive feelings help anchor behaviors. They act as rewards in the habit look (you can read more about that here).
So…. knowing this, we can use this info to our advantage.
But first.. if you feel stuck in a negative emotion, try this:
- Feeling negativity
When you feel a negative emotion, pause. Think.
Use the rider to address the elephant. Identify what you are feeling. Ask what story you are telling yourself.
After you identify the story, choose to take action.
For example, if your boss calls you in for a surprise meeting and you start to feel worried, just stop. Pause. Take a moment to address the fear. What story are you telling yourself? After identifying the story, do something. ANYTHING. Just move. When the fight or flight response is initiated, we need movement to feel better.
Have a bias for action!
Now, if you are out of the negative feelings, but are not feeling the motivation you want, try this:
- Intentionally feeling negative
I am all for positive thinking, bit there is one scenario where we can leverage negative emotions for our benefit. That is for motivation.
We humans are motivated to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The pain-avoidance system is WAY more powerful.
If you want to make a change, but are feeling unmotivated, consider all the negative things that will happen if you DON’T make the change.
How will you feel? What will your life be like? How bad will things get?
Steep in these negative emotions and strive to feel all those feelings.
This exercise will put you in a place of discontentment. It will make you feel bad. And that is ok.
We must experience pain in order to change.
The goal is to feel perceived pain from your imagined inaction.
When you feel enough pain, you WILL feel motivated to change.
Once this happens, lean into positivity.
- Anchor with positivity
To get moving in the right direction, we cannot wallow in pain.
Start to imagine what life would be like after you take action.
What do you feel like?
What does your life look like?
Do your best to feel all those positive emotions.
While we are more likely to strive for pain avoidance, pleasure seeking is still a strong motivator.
So lean in.
Imagine your success.
And feel it.
The Wrap Up
Emotions are things we cannot avoid.
We can accept them, lean in, and leverage them.
Or, they can control us and halt us from progress.
If you get caught in negative emotion loop, just pause, think, and identify your story.
Then take action.
Just do something.
If you are struggling to find motivation, learn into your imagined negative future.
Then anchor your new actions by imagining your potential future.
Emotions can help us achieve more.
If we leverage them.
Can you leverage yours?
Thanks for reading!
Keep crushing it!
Clark