The Comfort Trap

Your comfort zone is keeping you mediocre.

It is so cozy in the comfort zone. Everything is predictable. You know what to expect. You are safe.

Unfortunately, comfort leads to stagnation. Stagnation leads to frustration. Frustration is the path to… The dark side.

If you are frustrated with your lack of growth and development. Check your position. Are you living in the comfort zone?

In this article I am going to teach you how to step out of comfort, take risks, and propel yourself to new heights.

If you remain in the comfort zone, you will be safe. But you will not be fulfilled.

By learning to recognize your comfort boundaries, and step out of them, you will discover what is possible, learn new skills, and become a higher-performing human.

Let’s look at the purpose of the comfort zone, and how to push beyond its limitations.

The Comfort Zone has a purpose

Comfort keeps us safe, and being safe keeps us alive. We all like being alive, right?

When we perceive something as a threat to our survival, we feel stress and anxiety. When we feel hungry we feel anxiety because starvation is a threat to our survival. When we feel lonely, we feel anxiety because we are herd animals, and the herd protects us from predators. When we see danger we feel anxiety because danger can kill us.

The comfort zone tells us we are safe.

Unfortunately, the adage is true, “everything you could want out of life is just outside your comfort zone.”

Growth requires risk. Growth requires trying new things. Growth requires stepping out of the comfort zone.

The entire time you are out of the comfort zone, your brain is screaming, “DANGER! DANGER! You are at RISK! You could DIE!”

This is your emotional brain talking.

It is your fear voice.

You have another voice inside… your logical voice, your hopeful voice, your faith voice.

Listen to this voice and consider the steps below to step out of your comfort zone and grow.

Set irrational goals

This is an often-repeated step for personal development. Set big meaningful goals and you have to grow to achieve them.

However, you can’t do this without knowing what you realistically want. Your vision drives everything else. Clarity precedes effective action. So how do you generate clarity around what you want? Start with these questions:

What DON’T you want?

Getting clarity on what you don’t want can be just as useful as knowing what you do want. Identifying what you don’t want forces you to identify and close off roads you don’t want to travel.

For example, if you know you want to get fit, but are not sure exactly what that looks like, start with what you don’t want.

You might say, “I don’t want to look like a bodybuilder or a marathon runner.” Great! To look like a bodybuilder, you need to train hard with targeted exercises for multiple hours per day. Also, you will likely need to take testosterone (unless you want the ‘natural’ look). To look like a marathoner, you better buy up a few pair of your favorite running shoes, because you are going to put some miles in! NOT wanting these means you can scratch these routines off your list.

By knowing what you don’t want, you know which paths NOT to take.

Where are you going?

Which direction are you headed? Which path are you on that you want to continue? This question gets you thinking about what kind of person you want to become. Are you becoming better at business? Be a better leader? Do you want to get healthier? Where you are going creates clarity on who you need to be to show up at that destination.

So, create clarity on who you are and what kind of person you need to be in the future.

Who do you need to become?

What does that future version of yourself look like?

Imagine you have already achieved all your goals. What does that version of you do every day? How does that person show up? What skills does that person have.

Clarity. Clarity. More clarity.

Painting this picture gives you insight into your current state, your desired state, and all the gaps you need to fill.

So far, this is all realistic. The questions above should be honest and reasonable. How do we go from realistic to unrealistic?

Think bigger and create an Uber Vision

Expand that vision of where you are going by a few miles:

Do you want to build a million-dollar business? How about a billion?

Do you want to live a healthier life? What about having a walk-around six pack (abs that are always visible)? Or running that ultra-marathon you never thought would be possible?

Do you want to be a better leader? How about leading a team to create a world-changing technology?

Imagine something far-fetched that makes you think, “It would be so cool if I could do that someday.”

This us your Uber Vision… and it can occur someday.

Well, “someday” is only a number of days away. And we can work within the days that you have.

Identify rational actions

Now you have an image of your unrealistic future. This future should be far enough out that you don’t know where to start.

This creates a problem. If you cannot connect with that future version of yourself, your goals can seem so far-fetched it will paralyze you from taking action. You fear voice may be telling you it is not worth trying, because “who are you” to strive for those goals. Tell that voice to kick rocks and do this instead:

Create a path of actions and skills that would be required to achieve your vision… but work backwards.

If you wanted to climb Mt. Everest one day, You would need to block time in the summer to go. But before that you’d need to save the money to travel. Before that you would need to train for a long time. Before that you need equipment. Before you know what equipment you need, you should train for a while. Et cetera.

Climbing Mt. Everest is a huge undertaking and is no small feat. And yet it starts with something you are capable of: training.

Keep in mind, the best first step is one that is rational, on the right path, AND it is uncomfortable.

No growth occurs without challenge, and challenge lives in the land of discomfort.

As you complete the first step, you must take another. Identify the next appropriate action.

Each action step on the way should produce a little discomfort as it is new, and the outcome is unknown.

This creates feelings of stress.

How can you manage that stress?

Utilize daily microstressors

Stress is a non-specific feeling of anxiety.

The feeling of stress comes from a physiological response to your perceptions. The level of stress you feel is inversely related to your perceived skills and resources related to solving a problem.

(I’ve written more about stress, which you can find in this article. )

There are some things which really stress you out and there are other things that mildly stress you out.

The small things in day-to-day life that stress you out, little annoyances, or small fears are called microstressors.

Microstressors might include:

• someone cuts you off in traffic
• You listen to a rude comment at work
• You stub your toe on the way out the door
• You get annoyed that our peer isn’t getting their work done, and it affects you.

At first glance, it may look like these are little things that you can’t or won’t take action on. Over time, these microstressors can add up. They have downstream effects.

Imagine you listen to a rude comment at work. You don’t way anything.

Then you get annoyed your peer or employee is not getting their work done on time. Still, you don’t say anything.

Your annoyance builds. It festers.

Then you go home to your spouse and kids.

Your spouse says something with just a touch of tone you don’t like… and SNAP. You fire back, hard.

This leads to an argument. A stressor which is more impactful than an annoyance.

This all stems from being in your comfort zone. It is uncomfortable to take action on something that scares you.

Instead, take action.

Taking action on microstressors gives you power and shows you have available skills and resources. This might look like:

• Waiting an extra 30 minutes to eat when you feel hungry
• Getting in that workout
• Pushing yourself a little harder on a run
• Making that phone call you are avoiding
• Speaking up to a peer about their behavior.

There is power in action. There is growth in action. There are results in action.

Take small actions on the things that scare you or make you nervous.

Each time you step out of your comfort zone to try something new you expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.

With enough time and action, you will have grown so much you’ll need to reassess your irrational goals. In time, they will not be irrational.

That is the precise time to reset, create new irrational goals, and start the process over.

To wrap up

Your growth and development depends on your willingness to take risk. Risk does not live in the comfort zone.

Set irrational goals.

Create rational steps.

Take these steps each day.

Imagine where you can be in a month, a year, 5 years by constantly taking small out of your comfort zone.

I believe in you.

Clark