The Power of Decisions
Aug 23, 2024
Books Referenced
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey
Atomic Habits - James Clear
Why is it so hard to make decisions?
It’s not like we don’t have opportunities to practice decisions.
We have options in front of us every day.
Eat this or that for breakfast. Exercise or skip the workout. Have that difficult conversation or save it for another day.
Sometimes decisions are easy to make. And sometimes we hesitate to choose.
When we can’t make a decision, it is usually because we fear making the wrong one.
But here’s the thing:
Our ability to make decisions either sets us free or keeps us in chains.
Today, we are talking about the power of decisions, and the dungeon of indecisiveness.
What is a decision
The definition of a decision is simple: it is a choice. For our purposes, the word “decide” goes deeper and harder than a simple choice.
Choosing to put ketchup or mustard on your hotdog is, technically, a decision. But we are speaking Decisions with a capital D.
Think of it as a levelled-up version of “choice” with way more impact.
Tony Robbins often shares the definition of the word “decide” in his seminars.
It means “to cut off.”
When we decide, we choose a course of action. In doing so, we commit. At the same time, we commit to not doing other actions.
More than just a choice of what TO do, Decisions comes with the natural opposite of what NOT to do.
Let’s not gloss over the power of this word: decide.
To truly decide is a big deal.
When you decide to get healthy, you choose a path of health and cut off actions that lead to unhealthy being.
I remember when I “decided” to get healthy after a period of high stress and not exercising at all. I made some changes but still ate a bunch of junk food. Looking back, I did not, in cast, decide. I dabbled. I tested. I experimented. But I did not decide.
I am not saying it is wrong to dabble, test, or experiment. I think that the softer application of decisions is useful.
But the word “decide” should be saved for those times when we choose a path and cut off everything else.
To make progress in our lives, we need change.
Changes to our health, our habits, our routines, our knowledge.
And to make those changes, we need decisions. We cannot remain where we are and expect to move in a different direction.
Indecision will keep us stuck in place.
Indecision keeps us in our current dungeon of unhappiness or unfulfillment.
I think we all recognize the power of making decisions. But if that’s true, why are we indecisive?
Sometimes we even know what the right decision is, but we still can’t commit.
Why?!
Because of fear.
Decisions always come with risk and uncertainty.
When we decide, we step into the unknown. That is risky at best, and often downright scary. Our brains hate uncertainty. And decisions have a way of thrusting us into the unknown.
So, what can we do to be better at decision making?
We can start by following these steps:
- Create clarity
- Choose
- Generate a plan
- Ruthlessly prioritize
- Move on
Create Clarity
Often times, a lack of decisiveness comes from a lack of clarity.
If we don’t know what we want, we can’t decide how to get it.
When we don’t know what we DON’T want, then we can’t decide how to avoid it.
Clarity drives decision making.
Start by asking this powerful question:
“What don’t I want?”
Yes… start by asking the negative. I find that starting with what you don’t want is often easier.
So, start here.
And dig in.
What are you afraid of? What future are you wanting to avoid? What pain are you currently feeling? What will you feel like in a year if nothing changes? Which destination are you currently headed to?
Allow yourself to embody that future version of yourself whom you DON’T want to become. What does that person feel like? Look like? Act like?
Start writing and don’t stop. See if you can fill up a page or two on what you don’t want.
Don’t hold back.
After you exhaust your mind on this task, then flip it.
Start a new page and label it “What I want.”
What is important to you? What feels right? What do you know? What is the ideal outcome you are shooting for? Which would you choose if you knew the outcome was assured?
As before, allow yourself to imagine and embody that person you want to become. What does that version of you feel like, look like, and act like?
Go big, and write until you can’t write anymore
Do not do this in your head.
You must write.
When we sit with the feelings inside of us, they are stuck in the ambiguity of emotion.
Writing helps pass our emotions through our rational mind, forcing them to become clear.
With all these writing your decision should become clear.
If not, you may also want to create clarity on the pros and cons s of each decision.
This is good too…
But you can’t do this unless you first have clarity on what you want.
So again, start with what you want, then move to pros and cons if needed.
After you have clarity, it is time to choose.
Choose
When I was 19 years old, I worked as a foreman on a fencing crew.
I remember being on a commercial site (an airport, I believe), and I was struggling to make a decision on the how to install the miles of barbed wire needed for the job. The wire was sitting on my work-truck, and I was talking the options through with my supervisor.
There were many options and many unknowns.
I was paralyzed by all the thinking and uncertainty.
He stopped me and said, “Just make a decision and go with it.”
The implication was this: we will never finish this job if we just sit here. You have enough information, so make a decision, roll with it, and adjust if needed.
He was right, of course.
We do not need 100% of the information to make a decision.
Colin Powell once said that you need no more than 70% of the information to make a decision, but no less than 40%.
The moral of this statement is that you need some information, but you will waste precious time if you wait to gather 100% of the information.
And even if you do have all the info, there will still be uncertainty and risk.
So choose.
Decide.
But what if you have two options with equal benefit and equal risk?
Maybe you are looking at 2 different diet plans, or two learning paths.
If all else is equal, choose the harder path.
I won’t elaborate here on why this is the best choice for the long run but suffice to say you will learn more and come out a more effective human on the other side.
Again, CHOOSE!
Once you choose, then we plan.
Generate a plan
You might be asking, “Wait, why wouldn’t we first create a plan for both options and then evaluate each before deciding the best path?”
Because it takes too long.
It is ok to create a general plan, but do NOT get into the weeds until after you make your decision.
If you create detailed plans before you decide, then you will fall into the deep end of analysis… and therefore paralysis.
But now that you have chosen a path, it is time to iron out the details of action.
As the saying goes, “failing to plan is planning to fail.”
But consider, there is another saying that Mike Tyson shared, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”
Plans are important but expect that they will not go 100% as planned.
We will build this expectation into our planning, as well.
These steps are not mind blowing. But so what? They work. I’ll share a magic secret after sharing the system.
Step 1: Start with the end in mind.
Stephen Covey repeats this in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Always start with the end in mind. That way you put yourself on the right path and in the right direction.
When we create out plans, we must first remember the clarity we created in step 1.
What do you want?
Write down the goal you want to achieve.
And write it in the present tense.
For example, with a health goal:
“I am a healthy and fit person weighing 195. My energy is high and I wake up each day feeling ready to crush it.”
Write it down as if you have already achieved it.
To be fair, you may not always need to write down your goal. In my fencing example above, I had a goal to put up 3 strings of barbed wire at 800 yards a piece.
That was all the clarity I needed.
Step 2: Create your processes.
James Clear stated in Atomic Habits that we do not rise to our goals; we fall to our systems.
And he is right. Our motivation is not going to always be on fire. We need systems and routines to fall back on regardless of how we feel.
For this step, we deviate our actions a bit depending on if our goal is short-term or long-term.
For a short-term goals, you can simply state your plan out loud.
When I had to hang barbed wire, I simply spoke aloud the plan, “We are going to hook these up to the back of the truck and drive the whole fence line.”
Voila. System stated.
It is important you state it aloud. Do not keep it inside.
Remember, internal thoughts are skewed by feelings. State them aloud to filter them through rational thought.
If you made a decision toward a long-term goal, then our process is a little lengthier.
List out the things you need to do each day to make progress on your goals.
Then put them into your calendar.
Do not skip this step.
If your to-do list stays on a piece of paper and does not make its way into a time-blocked part of your day, then something else will take that time.
Block it off.
Step 3: Block time for planning and reflection.
For short-term goals, this can be at the end of your task. For longer goals, this can be at the end of your week, or at the beginning of your week. It does not matter.
Having specific time to plan and reflect allows us to check in on our actions, progress, and obstacles we may have faced.
This also gives us an opportunity to adjust our process to account for unseen variables, or upcoming variables.
If you are going on vacation, for example, you may need to adjust your routine.
If we don’t make time for reflection, planning, and adjustment, we are more likely to stop all together. Also, we are likely to miss any mistakes we made and continue to make them in the future.
Obstacles and challenges are not an excuse to stop. They are an opportunity to overcome and plan around.
Step 4: Rinse and repeat.
Do this for all the decisions you have made.
Step 5: Acknowledge the magic
I told you I would share the magic in this process: It is in the doing.
These steps are SO simple, that it might be tempting to say, “yeah, yeah, I get it. I can just do this in my head.”
NO! The magic will fail you if you do this.
State your goals out loud! Write them down. Block time for them. Reflect. Rinse and repeat.
Ruthlessly Prioritize
You are a multidimensional human. You are more than a spouse. You are more than a parent. You are more than a leader. You are ALL of those things.
Because you have multiple roles, you will naturally have different tasks competing for your time.
Tim Ferris has this concept of ruthless prioritization.
What can you do (or should you be doing) that will move the needle in a positive direction?
You may need to swap one task for another. You may need to skip certain tasks so you can handle an emergency situation.
This is OK.
There is one thing you need to prioritize effectively: Clarity.
It all comes back to clarity.
Prioritization is itself a decision.
Choose the most important things you need to handle.
Then move forward.
Move On
If we make a decision, and then second guess ourselves, then we did not decide. We are still in the consideration phase.
We must move on.
The more time we spend feeling regret, or reconsidering, the more time we waste mental cycles which could be better used to focus on executing our tasks.
Once you decide, move on and move forward. We can use our reflection time to reconsider our effort and strategies.
This step should be assumed. Moving on is part of making a decision.
But it is worth reiterating.
Make a decision and go with it.
The Wrap Up
There you have it, my friends.
Decisions always lead us into the unknown. Because of that we can get stuck in the dungeon of indecision.
To break free, start by creating clarity.
Then choose your path.
Create a plan.
Prioritize competing responsibilities.
And move on.
I know you can do it!
Make your decision.
And crush it.
Thanks for reading.
Clark