The Power of Embodiment
Aug 06, 2024
Books Referenced
Psycho-Cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz
Atomic Habits - James Clear
We humans often make a crucial mistake when it comes to goal setting and personal development, and it keeps us stuck in our current state.
The fallacy is this:
We believe we need to have things in order to do things in order to be different.
In short, it is the Have-Do-Be fallacy.
You might have heard this, for example, "If I have more money, I can do what I want, and then I will be happy and successful."
Or, “If I had a gym membership, I would work out more, and I would be a healthy person.”
At first listen these statements sound reasonable, but in truth this order of thinking actually keeps us from hitting our goals.
And in this article, I’ll share why.
You will discover how the actual formula for change is not Have-Do-Be… there is a more effective formula.
And to be more effective at the actual formula, we will need to cover the principle of embodiment, and how it is crucial to levelling up everything from your leadership to your health, and to your relationships.
Let’s roll.
The Right Formula for Change
Why is the Have-Do-Be formula ineffective?
Well, there are a few reasons.
First, it places control of our situation on external conditions.
If you truly believe that you need a gym membership (external) before you can take action to be healthy (internal), then you will have to wait to take action.
In this case, YOU have the ability to act. But what if you live in a town with no gym close by. Or what if you only have an expensive gym close by and you can’t afford it?
If you must have that membership, you will be waiting forever, because you are not in full control of your actions. Your external conditions are in control.
Another version of this is giving control of your actions to a situation or state of being.
Have you ever thought, “I will start going to the gym again… but I just need to be in a little better shape.”
At face value, we can see how ridiculous that is. There are plenty of things you can do to get healthy that don’t require a gym membership.
However, if we think an external condition or situation must be met before taking action, then we give control of our actions to the external world.
But we cannot control the external world.
If we wait for the external world to provide the right conditions, we will be waiting forever.
And we have all heard the saying, the timing will never be perfect.
Another reason this strategy sucks is because it is reactive.
With the Have-Do-Be method, we end up waiting and waiting and waiting… and then reacting.
When did you ever operate at your best when you were reactive?
There is power in choosing your actions.
There is power in agency.
Choosing reactivity strips our agency, empowerment, and control over when to act.
This robs us of our personal power… and by the name of this newsletter, you should recognize how important personal power is to your performance.
Finally, this approach delays fulfillment, and delays us in becoming who we want to become.
We do not have to wait to have things before we can BE happy. It is possible to be happy first.
When we use the Have-Do-Be method, we sacrifice our control, prime ourselves for reaction, and delay fulfillment.
There is a far better path for changing our lives:
We simply have to flip the approach to Be-Do-Have.
“Being” Comes First
Before we can make a lasting change, we must BECOME a different person. We must create a new identity.
This does not have to be a huge shift in identity, but it does need to be a shift.
Identity shifting is not a new concept.
I reference this book all the time, but in the book Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz talks about how we cannot act in ways that misalign with our identity.
This book was published in 1960!
In a more recent book, James Clear writes about this in Atomic Habits, as well.
It is difficult when we try to build new habits, because the desired actions are new to us and not aligned with our identity. But over time, our actions slowly affirm that we can hold the new identity. When we shift our identity, our desired actions no longer need to be intentional. They just become a part of who we are. They become a habit.
There is a bidirectional relationship between identity and actions:
Identity leads to actions.
Actions create identity.
In Atomic habits, James Clear writes about how small habits can change your identity, and they surely can.
As an example, a small habit of putting on your running shoes can slowly build the identity of a runner.
But it is also true that when you put on your running shoes, you take a tiny step into the identity of a runner.
The importance of this will come up later.
But for now, just remember:
"We only act in alignment with our identity.”
Let’s look at a relatable example of identity shifting.
Have you ever lost weight, and kept it off?
Or started a workout routine, and never stopped?
People try diets and workout routines, and they see results. But lasting change is rare.
Why is that? It’s because they fail to embody and assimilate the full identity of a healthy person.
The changes they make are only temporary fixes to their problems.
And it is not just health.
Think of saving your money and investing in the future. Is it who you are, and you do it regularly? Or do you do it in sprints?
When we become a healthy person, it doesn’t matter what diet we are on or exercise routine we follow… we act in ways aligned with being healthy.
Now you might be asking, “what about times when I used to be healthy and fit, but I’ve lost that old physique. Did my identity change?”
Yes. Yes, you did.
Our identities change over time due to our actions.
And our actions change over time due to our identity.
If you are a parent, you have an additional identity to what you had at 15 years old. You added the identity of “parent” and your actions surely changed.
It is possible to build an identity of a healthy person, maintain that identity, and then lose that identity because of falling back into old habits.
So, let’s bring it back to the Be-Do-Have formula.
If you want to HAVE a healthy physique, you need to DO healthy things. This means you need to BE a healthy person.
Or at least you need to act like one.
This is just as true for your health as anything else.
To HAVE health you must BE healthy.
To HAVE a great team at work you must BE a great leader.
To HAVE a great relationship at home, you must BE the person who wants to be around your family.
It always starts with the “being.”
Now you can take the long route and slowly build habits that affirm a new identity….
Or you can hijack the system and accelerate your progress.
If you want the latter, you are going to want to learn about embodiment.
Embodiment
Let’s first take a trip down impactful-memory lane.
I remember the first time I taught a fitness class.
I had no idea what I was doing. I was in college and knew about exercise physiology, but when it came to running a class and leading people through a workout… I was a total imposter.
But I made it through… with flying colors actually… by using a little mind-hack.
Little did I know that the trick I used that first class was actually a strategy we can use to grow into any role, any skillset, and any situation.
I have since used the same mental strategy in MMA, running ultra-races, managing a team, and even when working with leaders at fortune 5 companies…
That strategy is Embodiment.
The shallow version of this is called “act as if.”
The new age version is called “manifesting.”
The quick version is called “fake it until you make it.”
There is so much to the concept of embodiment that the other names for it just don’t do it justice.
So let me break it down.
Embodiment is when you step into the thoughts, words, and actions of another person.
It is a very effective strategy you can use to accelerate your growth in an area.
For me, at that first fitness class, I embodied my friend Ryan, who was also a fitness instructor.
He gave me the words, actions, energy, and body language to emulate. I embodied Ryan… channeled him, so to speak… to make my performance like his.
Embodiment is stepping into an alternate identity to walk, talk, act, and think like the person you want to become. It is like test driving a new identity and seeing how it fits. What works? What doesn’t?
The practice of embodiment is not something you can just do on a whim, at least not at first. It does take practice.
But with practice you can learn to leverage this skill on a moment’s notice.
Building the Skill of Embodiment
When you embody, you are a bit of an actor. By acting… playing a role… you gain REAL experience as the person you are embodying.
To be effective at embodying, we need to create clarity on a few fronts:
- Goals
- Avatars
- Thoughts / Behaviors / Actions
Goals
The first thing to do is establish our goals. What is the outcome we want? This is the “have” part of the equation.
As Stephen Covey says in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “begin with the end in mind.”
Check out your list of goals and consider what is most important to you. Do you want to have more freedom, more fulfilling work, stronger relationships, or something else?
Whatever it is, keep it close in your mind.
With your goal in mind, you can consider the ideal avatar.
Avatars
The ideal avatar is who you need to be (identity shift) in order to have the things you desire?
If you want to have stronger relationships, maybe you need to be a master communicator. Or maybe you are already good at communication and you need to be a leader with time-freedom so you are not at work 80 hours per week.
If you want to have a better career, maybe you need to be an innovator, or a maybe a master wordsmith.
Your goals dictate your embodiment avatar. Who is the kind of person who has what you want?
You can even imagine specific people who have already achieved the things you want.
After thinking of the ideal avatar we can get clarity on the third thing.
Thoughts / Behaviors / Actions
Imagine you wanted a healthy and muscular body. To have this you must embody a healthy avatar.
But what does that person do? What do they think? How do they speak? What decisions do they make? What actions do they take?
If you know someone who has the look you want, what decisions are they making? What are they thinking? What are their systems and strategies?
How do they move? How do they walk? Talk? Plan? Execute?
Imagine the type of person you have to embody and get specific in the details.
If you were an actor paid to get on screen and embody a character, how would you do it.
The goal here is to get as clear as possible on the thoughts, behaviors, and actions needed to:
- Be the person you have to be
- Do the things that need to be done
- Have the things you want to have.
Stepping into the Role
After all of these steps are covered, make time during the day to visualize.
Play a mental reel of you embodying your avatar and achieving the things you want to achieve.
Then simply step into that mode of being.
Embody that person… as an upgraded version of yourself.
It is like putting on a costume of an upgraded identity.
That version of you can do things the other version won’t.
And why is that? Because you are embodying a different identity, which leads to different actions, which leads to different results.
If you repeat the mental highlight reel enough, and step into the upgraded identity often, you will change your experience from “embodiment” to “identity.” It will become a part of you.
The Wrap Up
We think that to be more successful we need to have more resources, tools, skills, etc. so we can do the things necessary to be who we want to be.
But it is the reverse that’s true. We must be the type of person who does the required things to have what you desire.
Goal attainment doesn’t start with having… it starts with being.
In order to be good at “being,” we can practice embodiment to step into the right mindset.
This gives us power to think, act, and speak in ways aligned with our goals.
To embody an ideal version of yourself and try on a new identity, you must be clear about your goals, your avatar, and the thoughts / behaviors / and actions of that avatar.
With this strategy, you accelerate your progress by testing an entire identity, and not just a tiny habit.
And all of our actions are rooted in identity.
You are not stuck, my friends.
Become the person you were meant to become.
And crush it.
Clark