The Power of Resilience

Books Referenced in this article:

Antifragile - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Motivation, check.

Goals, check.

A plan of attack, check.

You’ve got this… you are going to crush it.

Then life throws you a challenge: a change in your schedule, an unforeseen emergency, something small, or something major.

What do you do? How do you show up again and again?

Do you handle it and get back on track? Or do let the challenges win?

This is the topic for today, and it is one that will help you overcome the obstacles before you.

How do you stay on track to your goals, even when life throws you lemons? And it WILL throw lemons.

In my experience coaching high performers, training athletes (both elite and corporate), and working through this myself, there is one trait that will ensure you overcome challenges:

Resilience.

It is a word that encompasses so much, and I want to teach you more about it.

Because we need you. You are capable of so much, and I don’t want to see a few challenges stop you from crushing your goals.

Resilience

Many people have heard this term. But for anyone who hasn’t, resilience is the ability to withstand pressure and remain unchanged under stress.

A related term you might have heard is “antifragile.” This was made popular by Nassim Taleb’s book of the same name. He defines antifragility as the ability to adapt to stress and become stronger under its pressure.

Resilience is a short-term goal for stress: don’t crumble.

Antifragility is a long-term goal for stress: get stronger.

From here on out, I will use the word “resilience” to cover both aspects.

We have been taught to avoid stress.

We hear things like, “you need to destress,” or “hey, don’t get too stressed out.”

But it is stress that makes us stronger. It forces us to adapt.

Without stress we cannot be resilient.

When we accept stress, we accept the challenge that it brings.

When we look to that challenge to adapt, THEN we grow.

Let’s tackle each of these in turn.

Growth: Some Stress Required

The first step in building resilience is to understand stress as a requirement for growth.

Our mind and body adapt to stress.

If you want to build muscles, you must stress your body under load and tension for them to grow.

If you want to build strong relationships, you must experience the strain of difficult conversations.

If you want to grow in your career, you must step out of your comfort zone and feel the stress of new performance expectations.

Stress leads to growth.

As you read this, you may be thinking of chronic stress. Yes, too much stress for too long of time can lead to negative effects. Your health can deplete, your attitude can become cynical, and your mind may falter. But with the right amount of stress, you can adapt and become more.

Stress means we are out of our comfort zone. That is where all the growth happens.

When you understand that stress is a sign you are in the growth zone, then we can work on your mindset of stress acceptance.

A Mindset of Stress-Acceptance

Some people prefer to live in their comfort zone.

When you have a mindset of stress-acceptance you acknowledge that being uncomfortable is a normal part of growth.

With this mindset you accrue certain benefits:

• Less fear
• More willingness to take risks
• Higher likelihood of taking on new challenges
• A view of stress as being on the right path, and not something to avoid.

Overall, you build an identity of one who can do hard things.

Imagine you were exercising, and you had a mindset of stress-avoidance. You would lift until your muscles burned and then quit immediately.

Shoot, you might even pick up a single weight and think, “nope.”

But where would this lead? Definitely not to the body you want.

Accept the stress.

Recognize it is a signal for growth.

Look to where you can adapt.

An Identity of Resilience

Now that you understand the importance of stress AND accept it as a sign of growth, you can look to leverage the situation for intentional development.

Let’s return to our ship-captain analogy.

If you are a new captain of a ship and are in the middle of the ocean, you might be stressed in a storm. You don’t know how the ship will handle it. You will be blown off course. You are out of your comfort zone.

But you know that this stress means you have an opportunity to learn and grow. So, you use this experience to learn and practice your skills.

You lead the crew with clear and calm commands (alliteration unintentional).

You use your knowledge and technology to get you back on course.

You look for ways to improve your systems to avoid running right into a storm next time.

The next time a storm hits, you will think, “ah, I’ve been here before. I know exactly what to do.”

Because of this growth, you are more resilient and you feel less stress than the first storm experience.

You are mentally stronger.

There is a great thing about resilience as an identity: it gives you more confidence to handle other situations.

So what can you do to build your resilience? Let’s summarize in the wrap up.

The Wrap Up

Resilience is a skill… a trait which can be built.

Here is how you do it:

1. Remind yourself that stress is required for growth. When you feel stress, pause and recognize the opportunity to learn new skills. With this in mind, do hard things. Seek them out. Challenge yourself.
2. Consider what you need to learn and do to get through the current stressor. Do you need help? Do you need additional resources? Make a list of the actions you must take.
3. Prioritize and execute those actions.
4. On regular intervals, take a few minutes and check in with yourself on the effectiveness of your actions. REFLECT! Just as a captain checks his GPS, check to see how you are progressing and staying on path.
5. After the stressor is over, recognize the steps you took to overcome your stressor. How did you grow? It is easy to see muscles grow when you see a picture months after you start training. How will you recognize your personal growth? Start by listing out what new skills you have and what new pressures you can handle.

Build your resilience. You are capable of so much, and we need your talents. Don’t let a bit of stress block you from sharing your gifts with the world.

Get some.

Clark